Well it's been a hot minute, hasn't it? That would be because I am a) busy with my new job and b) busy being a hot mess. Every day is its own epoch at the moment, entirely separate from the one before and the one following. As my therapist said, this is what trauma looks like, when you're first starting to deal with it. (If you're a serious reader-of-mine and want more on this, check out the sidebar on the uncensored blog; though fair warning, I haven't updated there in a while either.)
One thing that's consistently getting me through right now is music. In fact when I don't have any appetite for any music at all, that's a sign that things are really seriously bad. And so, with LL Cool Joe in mind, I thought I'd share with you my top songs at the moment. Too lazy to link but check 'em out at Pandora or lastfm or blip or whatever. They're worth it. They're helping to keep my head above water.
Antony & the Johnsons
*"Cripple & the Starfish". I think this is a song about BDSM. That's how I interpret it anyway. It's hauntingly lovely, like most of their stuff, and carries a message of survival for me too.]
*"Atrocities" Featured in the excellent movie "Otto or Up with Dead People" and just absurdly beautiful.
*"(Antichrist Television Blues)" A manic ballad from the point of view of a manipulative, abusive, haunted parent.
*"(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" Don't ask. Just know that this is twisted around in every way possible in my head. It came on the radio twice on a recent late night drive and it was serious catharsis. Not parting with $1.29 to buy it on iTunes though.
*"Dirty King" Don't just play this on your computer. Find some speakers that can let you appreciate the bass line. It's good.
*"Mind Your Own Business" Female punk rockers from England back in the day. The lyrics are not a covert message to you, dear readers, never fear.
Echo & the Bunnymen
*"Bring on the Dancing Horses" Hoping to catch them live this fall...
The Fiery Furnaces
*I love pretty much their whole album "Bitter Tea". This is the essence of my life right now, the very marrow of how I feel. Particular highlights: "In My Little Thatched Hut", "Black-Hearted Boy", "Bitter Tea", and "The Vietnamese Telephone Ministry".
*"The End is Near" off their most recent album. Don't dismiss it without giving the nasty, bitter lyrics a good listen. Love it like crazy.
*"Love Goes On!" and "Quiet Heart" especially, from 16 Lovers Lane.
*As ever. Especially "Atmosphere" and, of course, "Love Will Tear Us Apart".
*Still getting a lot of mileage out of "Midnight Boom". "Goodnight Bad Morning" is one of my main go-to songs when I need to be rocked out of the worst places.
*"Paper Planes". They wuz robbed. One of the few songs that always makes me smile.
*"I Wanna Be Sedated". 'Nuff said.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
*Still enjoying "It's Blitz!" especially "Zero" and "Softshock".
*"What's the Matter Here". My dad gave me "In My Tribe" (on cassette) when I was about 8. I listened to this, the first track, over and over again. Still in love with Natalie Merchant and her amazing voice.