Saturday, 8 August 2009

My Summer Vacation

And what, you may be wondering, have I been doing with myself when I'm not worrying about discourse on the experience of oppression?

I'm in an oddly peaceful little pocket of time here. At the end of this month I defend my dissertation, and at the start of the next month I begin my new job. Both of those things produce a certain amount of work, but not an avalanche of it. Certainly nothing on par with the work of actual finishing the dissertation.

My brother compared this moment in my life to waiting lazily on a train platform, watching the surroundings, in no hurry for the train to arrive but also certain that's it's puffing along on its way. It's a good metaphor.

Instead of doing something officially Vacation-Like--since FG, after all, is working hard and will be for a couple more weeks yet--I've instead be living life at a gentler pace. I work most days, but not terribly hard. I take breaks to walk in the park. I eat my way through the half-bushel of peaches FG bought me at a farm stand after I remarked that peaches are my favorite fruit and there are never enough of them. I invite myself over to see friends. (I need to do more of that.) I pester people on gchat. (Hi, Jess!) I find a sunny bench and smoke a small cigar. I take FG to thrift shops and watch her look mad sexy in any number of little dresses and things.

None of it is official Leisure Activity, either. I don't have a pile of summer novels to read or a summer project of painting a table. It's just... taking it slow, taking it all in. And when it works, it's been so, so nice. Walking back from the park the other day I had the sensation that the sunshine was actually soaking into the marrow of my bones.

It occurred to me that this is actually taking care of myself. That's not something I'm terribly good at. Much of my internal life has been structured by shame, guilt, and anxiety over failure. My Summer Vacation is, I hope, another step toward changing and healing that.

Special Bonus Picture: my own thrift-store find. The tragedy is that the pants were missing. But for $25, plus a little more for the tie, I wasn't complaining.

8 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Sounds like you are doing exactly what you should be doing Leo, having a vacation!

Great suit! I rarely wear trousers with a suit jacket anyway. I favour the hip hop look of jacket and jeans.

femmeismygender said...

I love the picture of you sitting in the sun with 'a small cigar' Leo. Have a very enjoyable time looking after yourself. Oh, and feel free to hit me up on gchat anytime - I'm usually online (goes with the job..) fimg X

Firebolt said...

Glad to hear you're enjoying your unofficial-but-almost vacation. Pester me on GChat sometime? LOL! And oh, that suit looks great on you, even though your headlessness is a wee bit frustrating. Makes me wonder whether my facelessness frustrates my readers. Cheers! ^_^

word verification: "lovin" Heh!

Freedomgirl said...

yeah, and i wish i were right there with you taking care of myself, instead of running around like crazy trying to make some bucks. o well. i'm really enjoying thrifting our fall wardrobes together too, hot stuff ;)

greg said...

Your summer vacation sounds so calm and peaceful - enjoy the rest of this month.

I love the picture! That is one sharp (part of a) suit.

Tina-cious.com said...

I have to say... I'm kinda jealous. Though I'm having a blast of a summer...

...part of me secretly longs for peace and quiet.

Enjoy it! :)

Jen said...

Sounds like an awesome, relaxing summer. Great for you. And I love the picture - great find :)

Jess said...

Hey Leo.

MMMMM Peaches! Yay for sexy thrift store shopping and awesome jacket and tie!