Friday, 23 May 2008

Just some things I've learned recently...

If you want to try packing your brand-spanking-new cock, and you’re as dumdum as me, check out this very useful article. The Cliffs-notes version: loosen the goddamn straps.

I don’t need Cliffs notes for what to do when the straps are tight. We’re figuring that out just fine.

Nutmeg is the best flavoring for a cream cake. Being cooked for is the sweetest thing ever.

Not all sex turns out great, not even in an incandescent springtime of sex. And really, it’s okay, in fact it’s necessary, to be able to step back from sex-not-gone-quite-right and hold one another in love and safety and laughter. And it was informative to realize that voice, the one I thought I’d silenced, is still in my head, ready and waiting to tear me down. But I listened to it for just a moment, and then let it fade out.

I’m working through a lot, trying to understand where I come from and what it meant to me to be raised the way I was. It’s hard and painful and I don’t have anything coherent to say about it here, yet. (I could do a series, though, on High School Play Trauma. Like the one where I was actually allowed to act the smartass boyish character I was. Except for the scene of almost ritual humiliation where I was painted in the nude, a body suit really, by an older male character who then kissed me. Oh, it’s too pathetic really. Ending High School Drama Trauma now.) The part that really has me worried is facing everyone when I do go home month. I need to reset a lot of boundaries. I’m hoping against hope that we find a place to live for July 1.


Maria said...

Sex surprises me. I have had incredible sex with people I barely knew and ho hum sex with those I was powerfully attracted to.

It all comes out in the wash.

Dylan said...

Not all sex turns out great... that's probably one of the best lessons I've learned recently. Even the best made plans... I think learning about aftercare and the amount of work that sex really takes has been invaluable. It's made my sex life better and so much more connective... now when something goes 'wrong' instead of driving us apart... it often ends up bringing people closer together.

jess said...

I love how therapuetic blogs can be. congrats on getting some of this stuff out.

Most of the sex I've had in my life was awful until I really came to terms with who I am inside.

Oh.. and TAG you're it! (read my blog to see what that means! LOL)